A Lack of Color
by cherryXbomb
Summary: Song fic set to Death Cab's A Lack of Color. [Sean and Ellie both reflect upon the other.]


**Title: **A Lack of Color

**Rating: **PG

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Degrassi... unfortunately

**Author's Note:** Three things really. 1. This is my first song fic and it might suck but the song A Lack of Color by Death Cab for Cutie just is so pretty and a perfect theme for Shellie (Sean/Ellie). 2. The song is A Lack of Color by Death Cab for Cutie and it's awesome. I recommend that you find a way to listen to it sometime. 3. I'm a huge Sean/Ellie fan but all the Eman's (Emma/Sean) should read it too because it's okay. Oh, italics are the song lyrics. And I'm not Canadian... just well spoiled.

**Spoilers:** Up to _Queen of Hearts_ and after that is speculation. Takes place in the summer between season four and five

**Ship:** Sean/Ellie, Ellie/Alex (implied)

**Summary: **Sean and Ellie both reflect upon the other.

**Start**

_and when i see you_

_i really see you upside down_

Ellie walked down the streets of Toronto, her hand in Alex's but her mind with Sean in Wasaga Beach. She thought back to the night when he called her and asked her to come and see him during the summer. She couldn't believe that they had been together for a year. But now she was with Alex, or at least in body. She knew that even though she was dating Alex, her heart belonged to Sean. She knew that Alex knew it also.

She glanced down the streets and saw a guy who looked surprisingly like Sean. He was wearing Sean's black stocking cap and a wife beater and a gray zip up hoodie, the same thing that Sean wore almost everyday, what Ellie was considering as his uniform in the halls of Degrassi Community School. The guy ducked into nearby store and Ellie choked back the lump building in her throat and pulled her hand back from Alex's.

"What's wrong El" Alex asked her girlfriend.

"Nothing" Ellie said, returning her hand to her girlfriend's.

_but my brain knows better_

_picks you up and turns you around_

_turns you around_

_turns you around_

Sean walked down the streets of Toronto, half hoping to see Ellie and half hoping to avoid her until he could deal with seeing her again. He knew that his girlfriend was dating another girl, his best friend's ex-girlfriend for that matter. He pulled up his gray zip-up hoodie and pressed play on his head phones. A small smile crossed his face as the loud, angry rock music filled his ears. He wondered how he could be listening to a CD that Ellie made him and still be trying to not think of her.

He looked down the streets and saw a red-head and a taller black haired girl walking hand in hand and shook his head. It couldn't be her. He didn't know what he would say to her. How he would explain that when she turned down the invitation to spend the summer in Wasaga Beach he decided that any longer without her would be unbearable so he moved back to Toronto. How could he explain the pain he felt when his apartment was empty and she wasn't there to surprise, even though he already knew that she had went back home, he couldn't bear her not being there with him.

He looked back at the two girls nearing him and ducked into the nearest store, a video game store.

_if you feel discouraged_

_there's a lack of color here_

Ellie went back home after her date with Alex and couldn't shake the image of the guy that looked like Sean from her head. Everything seemed to be in black and white, from her mother cooking dinner, sober, to the email from Ashley. She couldn't help but feel like crying. She dug out her old CD case and picked up the abandoned razor. She pulled down her sock and pressed it into her flesh, watching the blood well on the new cut, the only color in her room a bright scarlet.

_please don't worry lover_

_it's really bursting at the seams_

_absorbing everything_

_the spectrums a to z_

Sean looked at the framed picture that sat on his coffee table. He saw him and Ellie smiling back at one another from the park and thought back to the day that the picture was taken. He remembered Marco taking the picture last summer, preserving the happiness that he felt with her. He remembered her hand in his and everything from that day being perfect. He wished that everything could've stayed like that. He wished that Rick hadn't shot up the school and most importantly, he wished that he hadn't become a hero and ruined his whole life. He turned on the TV and saw a comercial for _Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, eh_ and saw the familiar red-head, Ellie.

"God, she's everywhere."

_this is fact not fiction_

_for the first time in years_

_all the girls in every girlie magazine _

_can't make me feel any less alone_

Sean flipped through a magazine that had been one of Ellie's. He couldn't believe that the old issue of Seventeen had been left unattended when she moved. He looked through, seeing pictures of Eve, the one that Ellie teased him, saying that Eve was his other woman. But when he thought of that and saw Eve looking back at him, he felt even more alone than ever. He reached to pick up the phone to call her.

_i'm reaching for the phone_

_to call at 7:03_

Ellie looked at the clock. 7:03. She decided to call him. She dialed in the familiar number to his parent's house in Wasaga Beach. When his father answered, she swallowed hard. "Is Sean there"

"No, he went back to Toronto to live" he told her sadly.

"Oh, thanks."

_and on your machine a slur a plea _

_for you to come home_

The phone went straight to the voice-mail at Ellie's house, meaning she was on the other line with someone, probably Marco or Ashley or Alex. He sighed and then left the message that he wanted to tell her. "Ellie, come home. I want you to come back to my apartment and live with me. I love you soo much."

_but i know that it's too late_

_i should have given you a reason to stay_

_given you a reason to stay_

_given you a reason to stay_

_given you a reason to stay_

Ellie sighed, knowing that Sean was back in Toronto, knowing that it was probably him that ducked into a store at the sight of her. Tears stung her eyes and she thought back to the day he decided to stay in Wasaga Beach. She had said that she loved him and thought that would be a good reason for him to come back home, to her.

I should've given him more of a reason to come home to Toronto with me, she thought. I can think of a hundred reasons now but hindsight is 20/20.

She came out of her thoughts and knew that if he wanted to be with her in Toronto, he would've already called her and let her know that he was home... for her.

_this is fact not fiction_

_for the first time in years_

Sean ran out of his apartment and to Ellie's house. He knocked on her front door and was surprised when her mother answered the door. "Sean"

"Hello Mrs. Nash, is Ellie home"

"Yes. Do you need to speak with her"

"Thank you. May I go to her room"

"If I hear any sex noises, you'll be dead."

"Thank you."

Sean ran up the flight of stairs and into Ellie's room. "Ellie. I came back to Toronto to stay with you. I can't imagine life without you and I don't want to find out how it is. I love you so much Ellie that I came home to you."

"Sean" Ellie looked up. She ran to him and hugged him. "You're home"

"I love you. Come home."

"I am" Ellie told him. "How about this time, you come home to me"

"I already did."

"Move in, with someone who loves you" Ellie said, mimicking his words back at him.

"I don't think your mom would be cool with that" Sean reasoned.

"I think that she will be" Ellie said. "I'll talk to her." Ellie ran downstairs, leaving Sean in his bedroom. "Mom, can Sean live in our basement"

"No" Mrs. Nash answered quickly.

"Please Mom. I don't want him to live alone in that apartment and I don't want to move back to the apartment and leave you alone."

"He cannot live in our basement" Mrs. Nash told her with a frown. "Not when we have a guest room."

"Really Mom"

"You moved back here for me and he moved back here for you. He can stay here for awhile... just senior year and you will adhere to my rules... both of you."

"Thanks Mom"

Ellie ran back up to her bedroom and hugged Sean. She kissed him and then pulled away. "Mom said you can live in our guest room. We have too much space here so go give your two weeks."

"I love you Eleanor Nicole Nash."

"I love you too, Sean Hope Cameron."

**End**


End file.
